She believed she could …

School is well underway around here, both for my kids and for me in my new position as a Personal Care Aide (PCA) at our Old Forge High School. And, I am happy to announce that, so far, things are going very well. Mornings at home getting ready and out the door on time have been successful — we haven’t missed the bus yet! No absences or major illnesses or big classmate drama — all good stuff. And caring for my charge in the classroom is proving to be delightful.

I do admit that our nighttime homework and bath routines could use some improvement, however. Baby steps, right? I am grateful for what IS working so far.

But for some reason, this past week, I was feeling it. Yeah, itHmm, it is not that simple to define.

I myself have recently been trying to place a finger on what exactly it is.  I have been having conversations with myself, asking why I am feeling somehow “off.” Why the slight, but present, feeling of discontent. And where has the mojo in my sewing studio gone?fullsizerender-1

Ahhhh, we humans. Creatures of habit. Resistant to change. As much as I am grateful for full-time work, and especially for the type of work I do, it is a change for me. I had been a stay-at-home mom for nine years after all. That is a long time.

And as much as I had done some pre-planning and organizing for the start of the school year, there is still some scrambling and chaos. And sewing orders are falling behind. I was thinking one day at school, that the bell will ring, and I will clock out at 3:00. And then I have sewing orders that I will likely not finish tonight. Or tomorrow night. Or probably not this week at all. Until my babies go to visit their dad on Friday evening. Oh. FullSizeRender (2).jpg

So, I have concluded, then that it is this adjustment that I am experiencing. The transition to work, and back-to-school for the kids. And I’m kinda tired, and kinda have a cold, and the kids kinda need me on a daily basis. There. That is my best definition, anyway.

It is not a crisis. It is just my human reaction to events in my life right now. I am deciding to allow myself some grace, and I’m acknowledging that I can do this. I have certainly come a long way in gaining my confidence back, and I know I will find my personal rhythm.

As R.S. Grey so aptly puts it,

She believed she could, so she did. ❤


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